Choosing Sobriety Over Shame

August 29, 2025

Letting go of old habits and replacing them with new ones that will shape me into the person I desire to be is the new chapter of my life.

There are some things we witnessed as children and carried with us into adolescence and young adulthood. Some of these habits we eventually overcame—at least for a time. But along the way, the old habit often resurfaces, smiling like an old, familiar friend, whispering:

"It won’t hurt. It’s not a big deal."

Of course, the old habit is cunning. It waits for weakness, looks for cracks in our resolve, and then slips back in, trying to make itself appear valuable again.

When we are presented with the opportunity to backslide, we must remember why we left in the first place. We must keep our eyes fixed on our purpose and hold tightly to the strength that carried us this far.

Even when we fall—and failure beats us down with shame—we must remind ourselves that shame is not the end. Falling is a natural consequence of being human. The true question is this:

Do we succumb to the shame and hide?
Or do we face what we have done and call it out for what it is—a moment of vulnerability at our pain point?

Identifying Our Pain Points

Our pain points are those tender places where weakness, hurt, or old patterns live. To identify them, we must be honest with ourselves and pay attention to what triggers us. Here are some steps to uncover them:

1. Pause and Reflect – Notice when you’re tempted to fall back into the old habit. What happened right before that urge? Was it stress, loneliness, exhaustion, rejection?

2. Name the Feeling – Put words to what you’re experiencing. Naming the feeling—fear, shame, anger, sadness—takes away its power to remain hidden.

3. Look for the Root – Ask yourself, “When have I felt this before?” Often, current struggles are tied to deeper, unresolved wounds.

4. Notice the Patterns – Do the same triggers keep appearing? Write them down. The pattern reveals where you need to build strength and guardrails.

5. Seek Truth Over Lies – Every pain point has a lie attached: “I’m not enough.” “I’m unlovable.” Counter each lie with truth: “I am enough. I am loved. I am chosen.”

Overcoming the Pull of Old Habits

Once we’ve identified the pain points, we can begin to respond differently:

1. Interrupt the Cycle – Step back when the habit calls your name. Take a walk, breathe deeply, or call a trusted friend. Disrupt the automatic response.

2. Replace, Don’t Just Resist – Don’t just say no to the old habit. Replace it with something life-giving—journaling, prayer, exercise, music, or creating something new.

3. Build Guardrails – Set healthy boundaries around your weak spots. For example, if your habit creeps in when you’re tired, commit to healthier rest rhythms.

4. Forgive Quickly – If you fall, get up. Don’t linger in guilt. Learn from it and recommit. Remember Jesus’ words: “How many times should we forgive? Not seven times, but seventy times seven.” His words remind us that forgiveness—even toward ourselves—is a continual practice.

5. Celebrate Progress – Every step of resistance is a victory. Acknowledge it. Small wins build lasting strength.
   
   

A Universal Struggle

Even Paul, who carried such faith and boldness, spoke of his “thorn in the flesh”—a struggle that wouldn’t leave him, though he pleaded with God. And yet, in his weakness, he found grace sufficient and strength made perfect. His honesty reminds us that none of us are beyond struggle, and none of us are beyond grace.

Like Paul, we can acknowledge the thorn without letting it define us. And like Jesus taught, we can walk in forgiveness—both giving and receiving it freely—so that shame never chains us down.

A Declaration of Love and Life

Today, I choose to release shame and embrace sobriety of mind, body, and spirit. I commit to loving myself better—to speaking words of life, not death, over my heart and future.

I declare that I will not let old habits define me. I will not let guilt keep me silent. I will rise again and again, because I am worthy of wholeness.

I will choose sobriety over shame.
I will choose sanity over guilt.
I will choose love over fear.

And with each choice, I will step closer to the person I was created to be.